Things I have learned from Nancy Drew

Not that Nancy Drew - My Nancy Drew. Just as curious… not as good at mysteries. Only a doggo.

I read an article that said “yes you can be in love with your dog.” Which is great news because it means I’m not the only weirdo in the world. and I only mean weird in the sense that I don’t have a nuclear family. I don’t think I ever want one - I have my Nancy Drew and me… and my roommates who oddly enough make up a hilariously fun household. Nancy fills my days with joy and play. We all take care of her together and watch the flowers grow in the backyard. We take turns running her to the park to get out our anxieties. So, yes, you can be in love with your dog and no, I am not the only weirdo smitten by Nancy Drew.

You see Nancy came to me… to us at the perfect time. It used to be Eleanor Roosevelt and me. That was the us…— Eleanor was my first love.

In December I made the decision to find a better home for Eleanor. I am happy to say she lives with a retired couple whose entire life is making her cookies and watching her sleep on the couch. Like many, the anxiety of the city was too much for Eleanor. She would howl for hours when I left- no matter the walkers I hired or toys I bought. I didn’t know at the time that separation anxiety is only mended by long term training… I knew I loved animals and I knew Eleanor needed a friend.

I only ever adopted Nancy because Eleanor needed a companion. Eleanor always had bad separation anxiety, heightened by the pandemic, uninterested in other dogs at the park. I had read that bassets were pack animals and being in the pandemic mind myself I made the decision to adopt Nancy. I had the space and finances at the time and it’s what Eleanor needed most - a friend that didn’t leave.

I will soon write an article discussing the process of letting Eleanor go to another home. It was not a decision I made lightly. I think anyone who saw me with Eleanor knows that.

I would’ve never met so many people that kept socially anxious 19 year old Olivia in the city company at dog parks these last 7 years. I was the only place I wasn’t too anxious to go, because Eleanor could come with me.

I wouldn’t have found the rescue Nancy is from without the connections Eleanor brought me. I loved her so much; and I really am glad Eleanor led me to adopting Nancy.

Eleanor taught me so many things; they took me a while to digest and I am still finding the words for them.

Lessons are in everything if you look for them. I love animals and nature.

Nancy also teaches me constantly. I sat down recently and wanted to see if I could put into words exactly what I’m learning through being Nancy’s dog mom.

It’s been 2 years with Nancy and there are 3 ideas I find myself constantly discovering when I’m with her.

1. It’s good to be present.

2. It’s okay to be soft.

3. You have time to play.

   

It’s good to be present.

Nancy will check me if I’m on my phone too long. She will physically paw the phone out of my hand. Is it good manners? No. Do I appreciate the reality check? Not always. Do I need it? Yes.

This reality check usually comes in the midst of doom scrolling. It’s like she can sense my heightening anxiety and the comparisons running through my mind. Whenever I stop and pause to just pet her instead, it pulls my focus to the here and now.

A technique I learned from Dan Harris’s podcast, Ten Percent Happier, if you’re feeling anxious - check in with your hands and your feet.

My hands put down the phone and begin to pet Nancy; I feel myself relax at the comfort of another being. The companionship and softness we all need when we stay in our heads too long.

It’s okay to be soft.

Nancy is 70% Stafford and 17% Beagle. She has the face of a pitbull and loves to bark. Often when we are walking down the street other dogs, specially small dogs, will bark, snarl, and even some times lunge. I know of at least 6 times Nancy has been bit by a dog on the street.

6 times Nancy walked away. She was unharmed and she just left the situation.

I am not as patient as Nancy. When the ankle biters get out of place, I crave to be the one to remind them.

Lately, I’ve felt more inspired by Nancy to be soft. It opens up a curiosity in me. There have been times Nancy has growled at a man to keep walking on the sidewalk but that’s as far as it goes. I trust her to know when we are in real danger; and I trust her to pull through when the time comes. The power lies in the ability to walk away and leave people to deal with their own karma.

You have to know whose worth breaking off the leash for. In 2 years, Nancy hasn’t found one.

You have time to play.

Nancy’s favorite time of the day- is any time she can go to Central Park. She’s quite spoiled for a city dog. She has a backyard and a dog Walker that takes her for 3 hour walks around the city. She doesn’t get hype for anything like the park. I have a goal to go explore Central Park 3-4 times a week. I never really want to go at first; I never regret it when we are there. I find myself in the state of awe constantly while wandering Central Park with Nancy.

There’s a release it brings to be free in the park. There’s an energy and lightness. A community aspect as we make friends and smell all the flowers.

It’s so important to Nancy to get to go play in the park. 15 minutes of smelling grass is like walking an hour of the city. She understands the importance of the ability to play and explore freely.

Being a dog mom semi forces you to be active and aware in your daily life. Personally, it makes me the best version of myself. Having a dog has opened me up to feeling safe in the world in situations I haven’t quite figured out yet. Sometimes they are simple things like Duane Reade for my medicine… or making her wait at the laundromat while I run in to drop it off. (Actually this is an anxiety I’ve recently outgrown- the laundromat. Little wins!)

I’m curious about where Nancy and I will go next. I appreciate her bringing out the best of me and the unconditional love she brings to my world

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